It's unbelievable to me that we haven't seen more static from small business owners regarding the plan for a $5,000 tax credit per new hire, as unveiled by President Barack Obama at last week's State of the Union address.

As a guy that has owned small business operations, I think I know why there has been only silence. Small business owners know the proposal has little to do with practical application.

Let's go back to when I owned a call center. This was a company getting those 800-number calls, 24/7.

Operators had to like people, and have a voice that projected that fact over the phone.

If I was in operation today, I'd just laugh at that $5,000 tax incentive. First, in order to make use of it, I'd need to have a substantial, unsheltered profit margin.

That is, after all the normal business tax deductions, I'd have this big wad of cash that would go to the IRS ... unless I take Obama's $5,000 tax credit to hire new employees.

Understand, I had good phone operators. To add any new ones, I'd need substantial new traffic.

But business across the board is seeing companies retrench -- not expand. If demand isn't there, can companies afford to add another person -- just to get a $5,000 credit?

With little new volume coming in, I suppose I could fire my trained operators and hire replacements.

But that's a cynic's view. Any businessman who does that should be in an asylum. In this economy, my goal is to hold on to trained operators with one arm and my clients with the other.

The only place I might use the incentive would be to hire seasonal, short-term employees, but that would be a little disingenuous. (I haven't seen the actual application form, but I'd be surprised if there isn't a provision to strike this loophole.)

I've stated a few disappointments with President Obama in the past, but I must say my biggest is the realization that he is not as good an extemporaneous speaker as I initially thought.

Seeing him on television -- when he needed TelePrompTers to talk to a sixth-grade class -- burst my bubble in believing he was a talented speaker.

Perhaps it's my radio days showing, but my heroes are still the guys and gals who can walk on a stage, put their hands in their pockets and rip off a speech that has you spellbound. When they use their hands it's only to accent a point.

Another example of how it shouldn't be done is House Speaker Nancy Pelosi. She thinks waving her right hand is somehow underscoring what she has to say. Instead, it looks like a music teacher keeping time to a class metronome.

I live with a really good speaker, my wife, Pat. I can recall her going down to a television studio years ago. The studio had shot some film and wanted her to narrate it on camera.

Pat saw the film once in the editing room and, on camera with no notes, did the commentary flawlessly.

What she has is a true gift.

These days we're planning a trip to Germany -- don't worry, I'll be back -- and in preparation I'm using German at home, naming things and using expressions as we go through the daily chores.

The other day she must have found my German slang list, because she asked me: "Can I refer to you as 'meine mann' (my husband ) or would you prefer 'meine Alterknochenkoph?"

She got me good!

That last term could be translated as "old bonehead" ... or much worse.

Since we may be in high society at the operas in Vienna, I feel I may have created a monster. I'll get a few laughs, but she might just start World War III.

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