I'm thrilled that my children are inquisitive and curious. They like to explore and they want to know how things work and what things mean.

I'm usually more than happy to explain, to show them, to help them understand. However, there are occasions (increasingly more lately, it seems) that they throw the question at me that is like nails down a chalkboard: "Why?"

Don't get me wrong, I don't cringe at all questions that start with "why."

Why do stars twinkle? Why does thunder happen? Why are lady bugs red?

Those are fine. It's the "why" that comes as a follow up to directions that has me irritated.

Mommy: "Go brush your teeth."

Child: "Why?"

Mommy: "I think it's time to clean your room."

Child: "Why?"

Mommy: "Buckle your seat belt please."

Child: "Why?"

Maybe I'm irritated because they've turned me into my mom -- in many ways wonderful, but not when it comes to hearing the words "because I said so" come out of my mouth.

A friend of mine who has three children, ranging in age from 5 to 10, said she only recently realized she doesn't have to actually explain "why" when her kids question her instructions. For a long time, she felt she should explain to her children when they questioned something. One day, she said, she got tired of it, and decided they should do what she wanted BECAUSE SHE SAID SO!

Sometimes I'm on autopilot, multitasking, distracted, and ask them to do something while I'm in the middle of doing something else. So when the "why" comes, autopilot starts to answer, "you should brush your teeth so they don't rot and all fall out." But of course, that just leads to the opportunity for follow-up questions that continue as long as I continue to answer them:

"Because they could rot and fall out"

"Why?"

"Because the food stays on our teeth and eats away at them"

"Why?"

"It's just what happens, that is why Dr. Chun tells you to brush twice a day.

"And ... because I said so."

I do feel it's important for my kids to understand why I'm asking them to do something, whether it be cleaning their room or taking a 10- minute timeout to collect themselves.

Most of the time I'm of sound mind to explain why their room has to be clean, why they need to eat vegetables, why they have to wear a helmet when they ride a bike, why they can't ride the dog, and so on.

But there are those days, when the powers that be seem to be testing my resolve and my patience, that I simply don't have the capacity to indulge the "why." And on these days, the only reply they are likely to get is a terse, motherly, "Because I said so!"

Kym Byrnes writes from Finksburg. E-mail her at kymbyrnes@gmail.com.

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