By Kym Byrnes
Today there's a different landscape. Dads have come forward to tell stories and experiences, share tips and tricks and show that they do, in fact, know how to change diapers and can even watch the baby while throwing dinner together.
There's "The Expectant Father: Facts, Tips and Advice for the Dad-to-be" and "Daddy Smarts: A Guide for Rookie Fathers." There are books to help fathers who have survived pregnancy and birth, such as "Stay at Home Dad Handbook," "The Baby Bonding Book for Dads," and "The Know How Book for Dads: Practical Pieces of Wisdom to Keep You Sane." On the Internet, there are whole communities built for stay-at-home dads, support groups for divorced dads, advice sites and blogs -- even sites for dads who are incarcerated.
Haven't dads always needed resources? Maybe not. For decades, women have been working to find a balance between child rearing and careers. In the 1950's and '60's, women were home caring for children while men worked. But since the '70s women have broken down the stigma attached to working while mothering. Something had to give, and so the family dynamic evolved to accommodate families that have two working parents. So now we see more moms donning suits and heading to the office and more dads pushing strollers and heading to the playground.
Diaper changing stations in men's rooms, masculine-looking diaper bags, companies that offer paternity leave -- the role of fathers has steadily changed.
When my dad was a kid, his dad went to work every day and his mom stayed home and took care of the home and children. So when it came time for my dad to be a husband, he had to do it differently. My mom finished college and started working immediately. My dad supported that, the result being that he had to be more involved at home ... and with his children.
Today we have the sons of the fathers who were on the forefront of the "shift," becoming more vital in day-to-day activities of child rearing.
My husband is a natural. And I think he's fortunate to be fathering at a time when men are comfortable talking about their dad experiences.
It's the outcomes that are so important. Studies show children benefit tremendously when their fathers are engaged and active in their lives. Children the behavior of their parents, learn about relationships and responsibility from their parents, build self-confidence and self-worth based on the feedback they get from their parents. Having fathers active in these processes can make children stronger, more confident, and well adjusted.
I don't know if my husband is ready to write a book or blog, but I do know my children are lucky to have a dad who is active in their lives -- because he wants to be and he's good at it.
And I'm happy to say that I know a lot of fathers who are equally committed ... and pretty good at changing diapers. Happy Father's Day!
Kym Byrnes writes from Finksburg. E-mail her at kymbyrnes@gmail.com.
Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement
Way to go Chris!!!!!!
Posted in Sykesville resident leads attempt to repeal speed camera ordinance
...because they are 'specifically done to generate revenue, and nothing more....
Posted in Speed cameras elsewhere in Carroll? Not so fast
Only met him once, after the ground breaking for the new S....
Posted in Hoby Wolf, columnist, activist, advocate and Carroll County stalwart, dies at 85