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MOM ON A MISSION

I read an article recently in which a professional organizer suggested "thinking long and hard before passing down family heirlooms, as they may become a burden on your children."

She went on to say that some kids might not want grandpa's fishing pole collection or have a place to put that old cedar chest.

I was initially a little disturbed by this, but then I thought about a few years back when my mom insisted I take a China tea set she had received from her grandmother.

I remembered this tea set in different China cabinets in different homes as we grew up. It's got a beautiful yellow and blue design, and the China feels extremely light and fragile.

When she wanted to give it to me, I wondered what on earth I would do with it, and how I would keep it safe from my children?!

I made space in our small China cabinet and it has lived there safely for years. And in recent months I've thanked my lucky stars that I have that piece of her, and that she wanted me to have a piece of her history.

I also can't wait for the day when I pack it up and take it to my oldest daughter's house and tell her how it came to be mine. She, too, will wonder where to put it and how to keep it safe, and hope that her children don't destroy it.

Anther cherished piece I have is a humongous armoire that my brother hand-built for me. It took him the better part of a year. He didn't use light wood, and this piece of furniture required the efforts of six men to move it into our house!

Because it was made by my brother's own hands as a housewarming gift after I bought my first home, it will certainly be passed down to my children. It may be a burden because of its enormity, but it holds a special meaning to me and, therefore, will hold special meaning for my children and their children.

As a parent, I think it's my responsibility to care for items that are heirlooms, and also on my shoulders to find new items that will begin their journey with me and will pass down to my children -- such as the armoire. My mom waited until I had a home and a family and was settled before passing on the China. And there are many items that my sister's and I have gotten since my mother's death. Those items immediately became that much more meaningful and sentimental.

My daughter is the only granddaughter on both my side and my husband's side. I've made sure to put some things aside so I can give them to her one day, so she has heirlooms from her maternal grandmother to, hopefully, pass on to her own children.

And my husband and I agree that our wedding rings, and the ruby necklace I received on our wedding day, will be passed down to our children. (Both of our rings were made in Ireland, as my husband's family roots are Irish, and this will help keep our history alive even when we are no longer here to tell the stories.)

As I was researching traditions and ideas associated with the passing of heirlooms, I came across some good ones.

According to one historian, the idea of passing down heirlooms goes beyond material items. Equally important are stories and histories that make these items part of a family's heritage.

My mother told me she got our China set from her maternal grandmother, but at the time I failed to ask many questions beyond that. Now that mom is gone and the China set means more to me than ever, I want to know more about its history. Fortunately, I can still call my aunts to get more details.

Another suggestion is to designate Christmas as a time to make a tradition of passing down an heirloom. What a wonderful gift that would be! And it would also serve to make Christmas a special time of family reminiscence and history.

I don't think keeping family heirlooms to pass down to my children is a burden. But if it is, well, that's fine -- when my children get a little older, it will be my turn to burden them anyway! Maybe my children won't appreciate the items (of course they will), but if not, perhaps their children will, and that's reason enough to keep these items around.

Kym Byrnes writes from Finksburg. Please e-mail her at kymbyrnes@gmail.com.


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