Can friends, relatives or co-workers have an effect on our healthy lifestyle and weight loss efforts? Absolutely.

Have you had a friend who has lost weight, changing their appearance in the last couple of months or years?

Have you wondered how they did it?

The answer is probably not fast food restaurants, lots of television and a side of gravy.

The keys to losing and maintaining weight loss are healthy diet and exercise. Healthy habits are lifestyle choices.

Finding restaurants that offer foods high in nutritional value (high fiber, low fat, broiled, baked, no trans fat, etc.); and picking activities that require you to engage your body and mind are good lifestyle choices.

Eating high calorie, low nutritional value foods is also a lifestyle choice ... just not a very good one.

If you're a person who does not choose a healthy lifestyle, having a friend go from heavy to thin can be a challenge. You might worry that the things you used to have in common have changed.

Friendship is about practicing unconditional love and support. Note the term "practicing." None of us are perfect friends, and we make mistakes.

If you want a person who has changed their lifestyle to remain your friend, then you have to be a friend by supporting their healthy lifestyle choices. Relatives are not immune to this.

There are many benefits. Perhaps if we practiced supporting relatives and friends more, we could make this holiday season less stressful, for instance.

When you're invited to a friend's house for dinner and volunteer to bring a dessert, maybe you could offer a healthy choice (one low in fat and sugar) instead of one that's high in fat and sugar. Or maybe forgo the dessert altogether and, after dinner, suggest a walk around the block.

I've lost track of the number of times I've attended weight loss support group meetings and listened to members share how unsupportive and destructive friends and relatives can be when it comes to weight loss efforts. It can be damaging in more ways than one.

If you have you ever been told that you are unsupportive, ask yourself why. Are you fearful that your friend will develop new friends as they opt for new healthier lifestyle choices? Will you be left behind?

Are you jealous of the positive attention they are receiving? (Jealousy never achieves the desired effect.)

Friendship is never easy. We all have our faults and there will never be a time that we say or do the right thing all the time.

However, as friends we should agree to do our best to help each other out -- even if it means trying a dessert or food you might not like, but is healthier for everyone.

The simplicity of offering a shoulder to lean on or bringing a healthy choice to dinner can deepen friendships and family ties; even if the shoulder is a little leaner as a result.

Tracy Cox is a certified instructor in group fitness instructor, Yogafit, Pilates, Kid & Teen Fitness, Moms-in-Motion fitness and Waterart Aqua; and is also Tai Chi and Qi Gong for Fitness Professionals certified. She is coordinator of Freedom Area Recreation Council's nonprofit program, Freedom Fitness, Eldersburg, is chair of the Prevention and Wellness Committee for the Partnership for a Healthier Carroll County and is on the Executive Board of FARC. She can be reached via e-mail at cox@freedomfitness.info or by calling 410-795-9101.

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